WHY SPOIL A GOOD DAY?
Some friends and I went out to lunch the other day at a nearby shopping centre. It was Easter Saturday, and the car parks were all but full, with many vehicles lined up waiting for a spot. Instead of joining the queues, Sarah, our driver chose to go right to the back of the parking area where she found several empty car spaces.
She turned into one, and without any apparent thought for how crooked she was parked, switched off the motor and stepped out of the car.
As we paused outside the car, another of my friends remarked on how crooked the car had been parked. This elicited a joking response from Sarah, to which my other friend said, ‘But what about other people? This will make it harder for them to get in and out’.
I vocalised agreement. This wasn’t the first time Sarah had parked in this way. She doesn’t park outside the lines, but often parks in such a way as to make it difficult for vehicles beside her to manoeuvre in and out. I knew from personal experience how awkward it could be to manoeuvre our own large car into a spot beside a car that is parked crookedly, so when Sarah parks crookedly, I feel empathy for those unknown car park neighbours.
I was annoyed that Sarah would think that the way she parked was acceptable, and I was offended as she airily swept aside any suggestion that others might be inconvenienced by what I interpreted as her thoughtlessness.
As we walked toward the shops, I found myself wrestling with my own internal feelings. I was out with friends. It was a warm autumn day. The sky was blue and the breeze intermittently brushed our cheeks, but instead of enjoying it, I was allowing myself to sink into dark feelings of offence and anger.
Over the last decade, the verse from Proverbs 25:28 that says, “He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls” has often challenged me.
I have frequently asked God to teach me how to rule my own spirit and it’s been situations just like the one I confronted on that day in the parking area that have not only exposed my own weaknesses, but have also provided the opportunity for me to press into God and gain greater victory.
So, with the others stepping out in front of me, I quickly prayed for God’s strength to help me rule my spirit. I repented of my wrong attitudes. I made some choices.
I chose to put down the offence and forgive.
I chose to put down the anger and enjoy the day.
I chose to stop judging Sarah, and to release her into God’s hands on the matter. If it’s not an issue for God, then it shouldn’t be an issue for me either.
I reminded myself that it’s not up to me to change Sarah - God will do a much better job of it than I would.
With that done, I quickened my step and caught up with the others, ready to enjoy our meal together. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I realised how quickly I had forgotten the car parking incident and how easily my emotions had been subdued after my transactions with God had finished. I had nearly allowed my emotions to spoil a good day, but instead, God helped me take another step in learning how to rule my own spirit.
You know, the truth is that the real issue wasn’t whether or not Sarah was wrong in the way she parked. God used the incident to test, challenge and change me.
There was a time I wasn’t so willing to give up the fight and to extend grace. My pride wouldn’t let me admit my wrong.
But God has taught me that the best thing I can do is to humble myself and let Him in. He has convinced me that if I don’t forgive others, He won’t forgive me. If I don’t extend grace to others, He won’t extend grace to me.
And I know without a doubt that His forgiveness and His grace are two precious gifts I absolutely cannot live without.