Christian Women Online

In 2005, my husband and I, along with our two youngest children spent a week in Northern Ireland.  It was mid-summer and beautiful.  The green of the country was glorious, and the temperature was just right for getting out and about.

We stayed with friends who took time out to show us some of the sights of their district.  One of our day trips was to North Antrim, which is in the north-east of Northern Ireland along the coast.  The major attraction for the day was the Giant’s Causeway.  This is a mass of about 40,000 basalt columns that are mostly hexagonal in shape and up to 40 feet high.

They emerge from the cliff face, and are packed tightly together forming stepping stones that eventually disappear into the sea just a few hundred feet away.

The whole thing was not only very impressive, but also kept the children well occupied as they explored the amphitheatres and other formations created by the basalt columns.

By the time we had spent a couple of hours alternately climbing around the formations then taking advantage of the natural seating created by the columns to rest our legs before exploring further, we had all developed healthy appetites.

We headed back to the cars and enjoyed a very welcome picnic lunch, after which our friends suggested we go to Portrush to buy some ice-creams from their favourite ice-cream shop.   The suggestion was met with howls of approval from the children as well as ready nods from Chris and me, so we piled into the cars again and set off on the 20 minute drive.

Portrush is a pretty town, and a popular destination for holiday makers.  We were there in early June, so the summer holiday crowds were already beginning to arrive.  As a result, it took us a little while to find a parking spot.  The spot we finally found required that we drive the car nose in so cars were parked side by side rather than end to end.

As we pulled to a halt, one of the passengers mentioned that we weren’t parked straight.  However, the driver responded by saying, “We’re straight.  Look at the van beside us.”

It was true that we were parallel to the van on our left - but I noticed that we weren’t parallel to the car on our right.  However, the tone of the driver’s voice suggested that silence was the best course of action for the rest of us.

We stepped out of the car and headed towards the ice-cream shop.  The parking issue was forgotten as our friends began telling us more of the delights that awaited us.

Just before stepping across the road, I happened to look back to the parking area.  There was just one long line of cars, but something stood out starkly.  Two cars were parked especially crooked - ours, and the van beside us.

Right there, as we were waiting for traffic to pass, God taught me an object lesson.

The driver of our car chose a flawed measuring stick by which to determine his own parking position.  For as long as she measured her parking against the van, she was always going to consider she had parked straight.  However, the only way she was ever going to consistently park straight was to measure her parking against the immovable, unchangeable lines painted on the bitumen.  Any thing else used to determine her parking position is able to be changed and is therefore an imperfect measuring stick.

2 Corinthians 10:12 warns us that it isn’t wise to compare ourselves with others.  The problem with doing this is that our measuring stick is flawed humanity.  We measure ourselves against imperfect, changeable people.

As well as that, if we think we are doing better than someone else we will usually feel pretty good about ourselves, and if we think we are doing worse than them we can feel we are failures.

Does meeting a beautiful woman make you feel unattractive?

Do someone else’s failures make you feel pretty good about yourself?

How do you feel when you meet someone who is clearly richer - or poorer - than you are?

Does your beautiful house in the ‘right’ suburb make you feel superior to someone in your church who lives in an old home on the ‘wrong’ side of town?

Measuring ourselves against other people can result in roller coaster emotions, an inflated estimation of oneself, despondency, feelings of worthlessness, and pride.  We can be lulled into thinking we are better than we really are - or end up feeling we have failed when we have in fact done well.

There is only one solution to this problem.  We need to measure ourselves against something that is unchangeable.  The lines that define a car parking space are unchangeable.  No-one is going to move them while you are parked there.  If you park parallel to the car in the space beside you, you risk parking crooked.  If you park parallel to the side lines of your parking space, then there will be no doubt that you have parked straight.

God is ‘the same yesterday, today and forever’ and because of that, His Word will never change.  He is therefore reliable and consistent.  Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we need to learn to compare ourselves with what God says about us.

You may be tempted to think that because God is perfect, that you could only ever feel guilty if you compared yourself with Him and His Word.

I’ve discovered that’s not the case.  God is perfect, but He is also merciful.  God is righteous, but He is also ready to forgive.  God tells us to ‘be holy’, but also knows that ‘in our flesh is no good thing’.  When we don’t measure up, He has made a way for us to be forgiven.  He is ready to equip us and change us.  We just need to be willing.

If you haven’t done so already, begin today to make God’s Word your measuring stick.  That means that who you are, what you are and what you have are just between Him and you.  You don’t need to compare yourself with anyone.  You just need to let God develop in you the giftings and callings and graces He has for you, and release other people to have God do the same for them.

That’s a wonderful place of rest to come to.  It’s very freeing and eliminates things like striving, jealousy and competitiveness.

I can’t say I’ve set my tent up at that place yet, but I can say that I go there from time to time and with God’s help I will come to enjoy that place of rest more and more as the years roll by.