Hebrew 12:5. Whom the Lord Loves He Corrects.
It’s a rare parent that doesn’t want the best for their child. Parents generally want their children to expand their interests, develop their talents, enjoy good friendships, be successful and have a good marriage and a happy family.
When it comes down to the specifics, we have differing views of what ‘the best’ is. For some parents, ‘the best’ for their children means private schools, learning a classical instrument, doctorates and two children of their own. For others, ‘the best’ means public schools, playing in the footie team, an apprenticeship and a happy family of their own.
As parents, we see the provision of ‘the best’ as an expression of our love for our children.
Hebrews 12:5 ‘…. For whom the Lord loves, He corrects.’
If you are Born Again, then you are a child of Almighty God. Because God loves His children, He corrects them.
In fact, let’s looks at Hebrews 12:5-8 to get a fuller picture of this:
“‘My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him. For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.’
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons. For what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening …. then you are illegitimate and not sons.”
God loves all of mankind - that’s why He sent His Son to die in our place. However, those who choose to become His children put themselves in a special privileged position where God, motivated by His love for us and the place of Fathering He now has in our lives, will chasten and rebuke us for our good. In fact, the writer goes as far as to say that if we are not chastened by Him then we illegitimate children - not sons.
Further to that, in verses 9-11, the writer reminds us that our earthly fathers corrected us, sometimes out of wrong motives, but God does it for our good so that we will become more like Him.
Then He goes on to say, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
So God disciplines His children because He loves them and wants the best for them. In explaining this love motivated discipline, the writer to the Hebrews uses the example of an earthly father correcting his children. It is assumed that that’s what the father does and that it isn’t something the children look forward to.
In other words, at the time of the discipline it doesn’t feel ‘nice’. It is painful and unpleasant. It is meant to be.
The writer then goes on to say that it is that very discipline that we find unpleasant and painful that will train us and bring the ‘peaceable fruit of righteousness’ into our lives.
So the key ingredient in training and disciplining our children must be love. That is, the person doing the discipline must do it out of a heart motivation of love.
We must not be motivated by frustration, ego, pride, anger, jealousy etc. The discipline must be for the child’s good - not to vent our own feelings. When we discipline out of wrong motives, it won’t work. Proverbs 22:8 says, ‘The rod of anger will fail.’
We must want the best for the child no matter what the personal cost. Sometimes that may mean doing such things as cancelling an engagement, saying ‘no’, pushing through tiredness to ensure the discipline process has concluded appropriately or putting to death our own needs and desires. Being a parent isn’t always easy.
The wonderful thing is that love, and consistency in discipline, will bring permanent results. Our act of obedience to God instructions on how to train our children means that God will then do His part to ensure His Word comes to pass. For instance, He tells us in Proverbs 22:15, to chastise with the ‘rod of correction’. That’s our part. His part is to change our child’s heart by ensuring the foolishness is driven out of it. I don’t know how a stick applied lovingly to the backside of a child changes the heart. I just know that it does. I’ve seen it happen not only with my seven children but others as well.
God disciplines His children out of love. He expects us to do the same when it comes to our children. I’m not saying the job will be easy, but for those parents brave enough to take up the challenge of loving discipline, the life-long reward for both parents and children is bountiful and well worth the journey.